The Office

So yeah, this is the Ateneo da Naga University Supreme Student Government Office

During March, 2017, my friend Guia Bautista invited me to run for the election. The first position offered to me was the Representative of the College of Business and Accountancy. I did not really know what to expect or what to do in that position. They told me its part of the Student Congress and the job of that was to create Resolutions and Bills for the student body. Similar to the Legislative branch of the Government here in the Philippines.

However, the Student Central Board, or the Executive branch, line up for our party list SIGWA was not yet complete. So later on, they gave me the position of being the Public Information Officer. When they told me the job description of the PIO, I was delighted of it. I have to create posters, info-graphs, etc. 

Long story short, I did not win the election. My opponent won by 36 votes and I was divested. I cried at that moment knowing that I lost the chance on pursuing the passion I had for that position.

On the bright side, the elected Treasurer, who happens to be my friend in the same party list, France Apolonio, gave me the position of being her Undersecretary and my job was to create posters and info-graphs in order to make the Office of the Treasurer more artsy and creative.

At that point, I was grateful. even if I was not the elected PIO, I was still given the chance to pursue my passion and serve the students too.

SIGWA

The party list SIGWA was not just a party list, it was a family.
We’ve a bond that I never expected to be a part of. I think being part of SIGWA was one of the best moments that I’ve ever came across to.

They thought me principles and beliefs that really helped me grow as a person and a student leader. The friendship and moments we’ve created together is unforgettable. I want to share it all but I’ve decided to keep it to ourselves. I’ll let the pictures speak for itself :)

The Office of the Treasurer (last row, middle photo)

France Apolonio (at the middle)
Treasurer

Aileen Dizon (on the left)
Department Head of the Department of Budget and Finance

Niel Joseph Borja (me on the right)
Undersecretary

“Wellbeing, not image building”
- SIGWA

I don’t know

It all started with your smile.
You were the most perfect guy I met and all my friends knew it. My sorrow was swept away by your majestic smile. I became the happiest person this earth could see. You were sweet, kind and gentle but a little kinky ;)
Your voice sounds like a call from an angel calling me to love you unconditionally. Your body feels so good on my skin like a freshly bloomed flower moist by the morning dew.

The way you look into my eyes
The way you hold my hands
The way you smile at me
The way you give me warm hugs
The way you kiss my lips
The way your skin touches mine
You are perfect, my love.

You were perfect for me and I was for you. 

After being left alone by everyone I loved, you were the only one who made me feel a genuine sensation of being loved in return. You’re voice is not a built for singing but when you used sing to me, it made me fall in love with you even more. Every moment when I’m with you, every emotions I feel, the love I feel when I’m with you was ineffable.

And something’s telling me it might be you but you’ve never said to me a single “I Love You”

However, that did not stop me to expect on something more than we had.

Expectations. That’s what we tend to hold on to when it comes to loving someone.

I was expecting that you could be the one whom I could live with until I die.
I was expecting that you were the one for me, the one who’ll stay.
I was expecting that you were the one to love me back after so many have not.

It hurts, it hurts to expect eventually realizing I was wrong.
It was wrong for me to hold on to expectations and for holding on in the first place. so I played cool because I was afraid of loosing you. You were the only one I need and everything I need because I love you and I know I could’ve given my all to you.

But after that cold December night, I never saw you again.

I miss you a lot
I wanted to see you
I wanted to be with you
with you everyday
with you for the rest of my life

Why must the universe be so cruel to my little heart. All I wanted is for someone to stay. For you to stay. 

You said you can’t see me because you were too busy and you don’t have time to be with me

I said “Okay”

But I was not. How could I be okay? I wanted to see you and feel you by my side and be on your side to protect you and love you unconditionally.

Then one night you said “I think we should stop”
My heart could not comprehend. Difficult for me to explain how I felt. I begged to you that this should not end like this so easily. I wanted an explanation.

“Why?” I asked.
“You are an amazing person and I admire that you have this caring personality and you really make an effort just to show your love to me. It hurts me that I can’t do the same for you and that’s why I’m letting you go.” you’ve said

The same explanation you’ve said to everyone that loved you.

The last question that I wanted for you to answer was
“Did you ever love me?”

And your answer was
“I don’t know”

“Three Questions

What was it like to love him? Asked Gratitude.
It was like being exhumed, I answered,
and brought to life in a flash of brilliance.

What was it like to be loved in return? Asked Joy.
It was like being seen after a perpetual darkness, I replied.
To be heard after a lifetime of silence.

What was it like to lose him? Asked Sorrow.
There was a long pause before I responded:
It was like hearing every goodbye ever said to me—said all at once.”

― Lang Leav, Love & Misadventure

Perfect Strangers

You acquainted yourself to me in my lonely hour. A genuine heart, I felt. Who is this boy in front of me that made me feel blissful yet forlorn at the same time, excitement yet scared at this very moment? What is this familiar feeling you’re giving me by just a glance at your eyes? I cannot seem to understand why I want your presence? All these questions is answered with more questions.

The conversations I had with you were short and fleeting yet my clock tells me 1:30 pm is now 1:30 am. Time flies by when I’m with you. But I wouldn’t call it wasteful, but rather cherishing. You were different to me, different from others. You were the only one who made me feel “Happy”. I never feel guilty when I’m with you. Guilt that tells me “We should not be doing this.” You were special to me and you said I was special to you.

The movie is playing but we both know we won’t be watching tonight. Your kiss was sweet and gentle. It was like seeing an angel for the first time. The way you touch me was gentle yet erotic. I like how you felt on my skin. Your eyes shine like the moonlight. You’ve made my heart captive by just looking at me. This feeling, I cannot explain. You confuse me and I love it. I love you.

Unexpectedly, they were gone. What happened? You’re sweet sensation have been replaced by bitter pride. It wasn’t my fault, but I’m the one that said sorry. I’m not blaming you for anything, I just want you to be responsible and mature. What did I do wrong? What happened to you? Talk to me, why don’t you?

You said you want someone who knows how to fix a problem. But you’re the one who makes it worse. I never knew you could do such a thing. I can’t believe that your ego is more important than our relationships. You said sorry, but not genuine. Worthless, worthless, worthless!

You knew I cared for you

You knew I wanted you

You knew I loved you.

Love. It’s so funny how can we easily say that word.

I say “I love you” but you say “Love you.”

I say “I’m Sorry” but you say “Sorry”

I say “I miss you” but you say “Miss you”

You make me suffer. You’re a cold hearted lover

Weeks have passed and many things were clear. I realized that I don’t need you. You have no more place in my heart. You were just a heavy stone pulling me down and you almost made me forget who I am. You are worthless to me now. I’m sorry not sorry.

You walked pass by but I never noticed you. I saw your shadow, but for me, it was only a silhouette of insignificance. You called me by my name but all I heard was the echo of your pride.

I was complete when you were gone.

“Maybe we’re perfect strangers
Maybe it’s not forever
Maybe the night will change us
Maybe we’ll stay together
Maybe we’ll walk away
Maybe we’ll realize
We’re only human”

- Jonas Blue

PASTEL COLLECTION

to be honest, it’s really difficult to capture pictures that have pastel features and this is the best I could do so far
It took me a long time to choose what I think fits in this collection 😂

“Do you want me to stay?
Let me”

draean:

Day 1. 20 facts about yourself
Day 2. Weird things you do when alone
Day 3. What kind of person attracts you?
Day 4. 5 things that irritate you about the opposite sex/same sex.
Day 5. Bullet your whole day.
Day 6. Your views on religion.
Day 7. Put your playlist on shuffle and write the first 10 songs that pop up.
Day 8. Your views on mainstream music.
Day 9. Your highs and lows of this past year.
Day 10. Write three legitimate fears you have and explain why they became fears.
Day 11. What are the five passions you have?
Day 12. What are the five things that make you happy right now?
Day 13. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
Day 14. What do you think people misunderstand most about you?
Day 15. Five favorite blogs and why.
Day 16. What’s in your bag?
Day 17. What’s your schedule like?
Day 18. Ten years from now …
Day 19. Your biggest fashion accessory.
Day 20. Your OCD habits.
Day 21. Your biggest dream in life.
Day 22. Brag for a minute.
Day 23. Your biggest celebrity crush.
Day 24. What you do to recharge.
Day 25. Write a letter to your teenage self.
Day 26. What you miss most about childhood.
Day 27. Something you are trying to figure out.
Day 28. What is your dream job and why?
Day 29. Describe your relationship with your parents.
Day 30. Your goal for the next 30 days.

Dahil wala akong matinong maisip isulat, ito na lang. Fighting!!

NOT TODAY BUT SOON :D